


Everyday I imagine a life where I can be with you

by TheAngstyDuo



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Genderswap, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:09:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14903942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAngstyDuo/pseuds/TheAngstyDuo
Summary: Protag had thought he had it all together. But not when he entered the Literature Club everything seemed to be falling apart.





	Everyday I imagine a life where I can be with you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first ever DDLC fic I wrote with my friend. Its pretty intense so prepare for a long ride.

It was morning—a Monday morning. He sighed in annoyance. It was the worst day and time of the week. He sluggishly got out of bed. He turned off his alarm before making his way to the bathroom. Minutes passed, nearing 30 minutes. He had finished washing up, dressing to his school uniform, and eating breakfast within that time. And with his cellphone in his pocket, and his bag slung over his shoulder, he left his home to make way to the one place he hated the most.

Let’s just say this main character had no name. He was a mute. And apparently had a knack for writing although no one knew that. He went downstairs and was greeted by his childhood best friend who was Satori who was waving and smiling. The guy basically was a walking ball of sunshine.

His hair was almost in a shade of salmon pink with a red headband. It brought confusion to how indeed the hair was colored out of the norm, though they only assumed it was hair dye. His eyes were filled with such happiness, and his aura was bubbly and inviting. He waved at the other. "Good morning!” he greeted.

Protag, the main character, immediately fumbled and did sign language. He gave him a thumbs up. It was the first day of school.

"Ready for the day?" his childhood friend, Satori, said. He was awfully cheerful. "Did you eat?"

Protag shook his head. He shot his friend a nervous smile.

"You didn't eat?!" Satori practically screamed. His loud voice caught the attention of a few passersby.

“I’m okay.” He mouthed out and did sign language.

"Are you sure? Breakfast is very important especially for today, you know?"

Protag just gave a thumbs up. His stomach grumbled pretty loudly.

Satori noticed with wide eyes. "Aha!" he said. "No breakfast! Not even a piece of bread?"

“I’ll be fine.” He mouthed out again. It was getting annoying.

Satori puffed his cheeks and placed his hands on his waist. "Fine. I'll give you food later, okay?" He gave one of his usual smiles.

“No, thank you. You’re always hungry. As if you’d give me food to spare.”

"No, it's fine! Come on! Let's just go to school!"

Protag gave him a weird look and just decided to follow his friend. What would go wrong?

The bell rang. Students started to enter the classrooms last minute, and soon the teachers followed.

Literally everything went so fast and the Protag was stuck in choosing a club. Before he could even chose his best friend drags him into a club he didn’t even want to be in.

The Literature Club.

Satori laughed as he dragged Protag by the wrist. "Come on, come on!" he said. "The rest are excited to meet you!"

Protag had just let himself dragged. He was too tired. Might as well let Satori take advantage of this moment. Then they entered a certain classroom, and Protag's eyes widened with surprise. The club was surprisingly smaller than he thought. There were three people in the room. Two were bickering while the other was trying to set a few things. Protag just stayed in place. He rubbed his eyes and suppressed a yawn. Was there even an option to not go to a club?

"Hey!" Satori said, catching the attention of everyone in the room. "I want you to welcome the newest member of our club!"

"Newest member?" The tallest of them all mumbled. His hair was violet and long, tied back with a ponytail. His hands were either always close to his chest or back, showing meekness by his matching violet eyes as well.

Protag stared at the tallest member in... fear. For some reason the height and the aura made him uneasy. Poor guy was the shortest out of the group. He was even the youngest.

Satori nodded, enthusiastic. "Yes! I told ya! Naruki! Mikami! I told you, right?"

The second shortest student, who was an inch or two taller than Protag, harrumphed. His hair was bright pink, and was clipped back at the side. "At least it's someone shorter than me," he scoffed.

Protag was offended. Okay, he started to even turn his back. He wanted to be in the anime club. He loved Satori but no.

"No, no!" Satori pulled him back by the wrist. "You're staying! Naruki, don't say such mean things!"

Naruki, the pink haired student, glared. "And why shouldn’t I? I was simply saying my mind!" he said. He was stubborn. "Why be offended by my own thoughts?"

"Maybe because it was mean," the violet haired student said. He and Naruki started to argue, making Satori frown and pout.

“I want to go to a different club. All of you are nice but... I have my own interests too.” Protag wrote down quickly on his notepad and showed it to everyone. Gladly, it caught their attention.

"To what?" Naruki sneered. "The anime club?"

"Naruki," the last person who hasn't spoken yet said. He was the second tallest. His hair was light brown, and his demeanor showed quite an authority. "Don't be rude—especially to strangers." Naruki harrumphed, facing the other way with arms crossed.

The light brown haired student signed “sorry” to Protag whom was taken aback but nodded. He shrugged as well. At least the club has a lot of members. Why would a bunch of guys even make a club when no one wants to join in? It puzzled the Protag.

"Anyway," the light haired student said. Protag figured he was the club leader. "Yeah, I'm sorry about Naruki. He does have the tendency to speak his mind a lot. But he did make you cupcakes."

"C-Cupcakes?!" Naruki became flustered. "I-I-I made no such thing! I can't... bake for shit!"

"Liar..." the violet haired student muttered.

Protag smiled. Maybe he could stay for one cupcake. But that was it.

Even Satori smiled. He gave Naruki an embrace, clearly unwanted. He laughed, "I knew you'd make!"

"S-Shut up!" Naruki said, ever flustered. "I didn't-"

Protag actually let out a small laugh too. He could only produce sounds but never words.

The light brown haired student laughed as well. "Ah, Yuri, why don't you get the cupcakes? I think it's at the back."

The violet haired student nodded. Protag noted his name was Yuri, and Yuri walked to the back of the classroom. "You wouldn't mind having some, right?" Protag was asked.

"Naruki's cupcakes are great."

Protag thought for a moment but he nodded. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

"I'm Mikami, by the way." The light haired student smiled at him. "The quiet one's Yuri. Ah, he's not really open, but I think he will with you."

Protag shot him a thumbs up and smile.

"Don't worry as well with Naruki. He's that... pouty-mouthed." Mikami gave a sheepish laugh. "If I remember, Satori said something about you being... mute?"

Protag hummed and nodded.

"Oh, do you do sign language?"

He nodded.

"Ah! Well, if you want to talk to me, just use sign language. Naruki and Yuri though probably don't understand... But at least you have interpreters and a notepad, right?"

The Protag nodded again. He wasn’t really that much of a talkative guy. Physically. He was an introvert. Why the hell was this popular kid suddenly so nice? Usually he’d get bullied for not speaking.

He suddenly felt suspicious of everyone, minus Satori. Naruki, he was fine with. But both Yuri and Mikami were indeed the people to keep an eye on.

He was placing his bet on Mikami. He sighed and just sat down as he waited for the cupcakes to arrive. Might as well draw some weeb shit while he was waiting.

He looked at Satori. His childhood friend was busy with Naruki who was still a flustered mess, and he suddenly went to Yuri to help out with the cupcakes. He smiled and just continued to draw. He was actually drawing them four. They were attractive in their own ways: Satori clearly by his bubbly personality. Naruki by his quite tsundere personality. Yuri by his meek personality. And Mikami by his kind personality. Though look wise, they were attractive indeed. Protag figured they came straight out of an anime. They all had different colored hair that seemed impossible to be by genes, though except Mikami.

Nevertheless, he thought and continued to draw. He didn't even notice that all of them were watching or merely glancing from behind. The Protag was too immersed in getting the details right. He was trying his hardest not to get frustrated. Then he stopped at drawing the three new people's hair. He didn't notice long enough for the details, but had only realized now. He looked up. He looked around, only to be frightened by them standing behind him.

"Ah!" Satori said with worry. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you like that!"

Protag gasped in fright. He quickly shoved his sketchbook in his bag. Act cool.

"Aw..." Mikami pouted. His arms falling to his sides from it crossed with interest. "I wanted to see how I would turn out there."

Naruki muttered under his breath, "You had to follow the actual height, too. I hate myself."

"Good thing he got that of you..." Yuri mumbled. Naruki heard it and glared at the tallest member with all his might.

Protag just sighed and rolled his eyes. Might as well show his skill that he knew wouldn’t apply to his club. So, he brought out his sketchbook out again and started to outline. Pretty much, this dude is a perfectionist. The three oohed at his art. Satori laughed at their interest, most specially at Naruki who blushed and turned away.

This was weird. Guys staring while he drew. It was usually girls who were interested.

Mikami laughed. "I couldn't even draw a single flower."

"Yeah," Naruki snorted. "Probably looks like a skinny dick but with four ba-"

"That's... not true. That’s not true. Don’t say that."

"That's disgusting," Yuri said. "when you're talking about yours like that."

Naruki stammered in embarrassment. "Hey! That was completely uncalled for!"

Satori whined. "Stop talking about Naruki's genitals... It's going to ruin our appetite for the cupcakes!"

Protag just snorted and wheezed pretty loudly, it made him cover his mouth.

Naruki glared at him, though he only felt it at the back of his head. Mikami sighed and decided to change the topic, "Anyway, let's just eat the cupcakes, shall we?"

Protag smiled. He finally had grabbed a hold of the cupcake. Yes, he can finally eat. He took a bite after wiping his hand on his pants. His eyes widened by the taste. It was delicious as said. His taste buds danced at the sugary flavor.

“It’s really delicious!” He wrote it down and showed it to Naruki.

Naruki read it, and he smirked in victory. "Ha!" he said. His ego grew. "Of course it is! It's made by me so it must be delicious."

Yuri gave a questioning look before taking a bite of his own cupcake, but decided not to say a word. Satori laughed as usual.

"Yay!" Satori threw his hands in the air with excitement. "Friendship."

Protag had decided to call it a day. He gave the drawings to each person. They all appreciated the drawing. He saw Yuri smile with a faint blush, Naruki obviously trying not to show his joy for the drawing, Mikami was smiling and tracing his fingers over the art, and Satori almost crumpling the paper from his excitement. Protag then waved goodbye. He asked Satori if he wanted to join him back home.

Satori hummed in question. "Home...? Oh! Home! Oh, I might be busy with tutoring... But I'll try to catch up to you when I can!"

Protag gave a smile and just headed home.

Tuesday.

Man, he slept nicely. Next day, it was the same old routine and Protag went in early.

He was actually looking forward to the day. He may not be entirely sure he was officially in the literature club or not, but by the end of the day, with Satori and his new acquaintances, he felt the day was worth going through. He had actually even felt more confident in class. Even though he was trying his hardest to show in his actions. No one was around except for the tall violet haired teenager. Yuri was sitting on a chair, reading a book with his eyes scanning the page rather quickly. He was engrossed in his book; he hadn't notice Protag entering the room.

Protag didn’t mind. He guessed he had more time with himself. He sat down and just started to listen to music with his phone. He brought out his notebook and pencil. He figured to maybe write a bit, or simply continue drawing whatever there was. He glanced at Yuri who was sitting on a chair a row away in front. He figured he could try drawing Yuri as he was at the moment.

He shrugged and just drew him. He had gotten immersed. Then he raised a brow. This student's hair reached his shoulders, maybe even longer yet Protag couldn't see. He tapped his pencil against the table. Might as well just sneak behind him. He can’t speak so that was a plus.

Protag snuck up behind him with his pencil and notebook ready. He only needed a closer look. Protag was a weird guy. But he needed to get the details right without dragging too much attention. He tiptoed. Yuri's hair was placed over one shoulder. Protag cursed at himself. He drew him yesterday, but only realized how long Yuri's hair actually was. Why was he short? Even when Yuri was sitting down, he was still tall. Protag suppressed himself from huffing to make a sound. He could nearly see…

And then he fell on the boy. Yuri yelped from surprise as he almost dropped his book. Protag's earphones somehow got tangled with Yuri's ear and arm. They got in such a fumbling mess. Protag just untangled himself from Yuri slowly. He apologized and bowed over and over again, he wrote down that he only wanted to get a good look at him for a drawing he was doing. Yuri blushed after reading his note. His eyes darted to wherever around than Protag himself, then he said, "W-Well, y-you could've... just asked. I wouldn't mind."

“You were too immersed with your book.”

"It's fine... r-really." He closed his book, but then had seconds thoughts and opened it. "What... did you need a good look at anyway?"

“Your hair.”

"O-Oh..." Yuri looked at his own hair. He made his violet hair flow down his back, though still tied like a ponytail. It reached up to his shoulder blades.

“Do you mind me taking pictures?” Protag wrote after observing the hair.

The violet haired boy looked away. He shook his head with a mumbled 'no'.

“I’ll just draw you, don’t worry.” Protag tried to give an assuring smile. It ended up quite shaky and nervous, though Yuri didn't seem to be unfazed by such and nodded.

"Okay..." Yuri mumbled. Protag just sat down beside him closely and just immersed himself in the details. He didn't take anymore pictures. He simply sat on the chair beside the other, making his hand draw the details roughly for a short time. He noticed Yuri was blushing and quite nervous or embarrassed. The other's eyes were darting all over the page, confused, or on him.

Then when he had finished, Protag smiled and ripped a page out of his sketchbook and gave the portrait to him.

Yuri was taken aback. He took the drawing into his hands, and Protag could see that he was pleased or touched.

Protag suddenly felt hot. He was sweating nervously. He wrote down, “Do you like it?”

Yuri nodded. He even smiled. "Yeah..." he said. "I-I like it."

“Oh thank God.” He sighed in relief. His reaction made Yuri have a questioning look.

“I just... I just never had anyone draw me, actually. When people do, they draw a penis…”

Protag blinked thrice. “What?” He wrote down. “Why?”

Yuri grew nervous. "I-I don't know. They perhaps think I'm weird and would find whatever they can to mock me."

“I don’t think you’re weird.”

“You don’t?”

He nodded, smiling. “I actually think you’re cool. I mean, you’re pretty and smart and you have very long purple hair.”

Yuri blushed. "You think I'm... pretty? That's... odd to say."

“I’ve never seen a guy with purple hair before.”

"O-Oh... People do say that a lot. They take that as a weird factor as well, especially since it's long. But thank you for that."

“You’re welcome.” 

Protag had finally noticed other people went inside. Both Naruki and Satori entered at the same time. Satori was as happy as ever, and Naruki was as pouty-mouthed as ever. Protag waved at them. Satori gasped and gave him a big embrace.

"Ah!" he said, embracing him off his feet. "You're here! I thought I lost you or you got sick or you were in the library or maybe you left and went to another club-"

"Shut up, Satori!" Naruki groaned with hands on his ears. He started to walk to the back of the classroom.

Protag wheezed and patted him, gesturing to let him go. He couldn’t breathe. Satori noticed. He gasped and instantly let Protag go. "Ah! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" he frowned and continued with his apologies.

Protag coughed and gave a thumbs up. He wondered where was Mikami? Was he late?

He figured to ask. He signed, "Where's Mikami?"

Satori hummed in question. "Who? Mikami?"

He nodded.

"Oh!" The salmon pink haired student looked around. "Huh, now you mentioned it, he must be late. Maybe he got caught up in some things?"

Protag nodded and started to yawn. Man, school had been trying to catch up. He rubbed his eyes.

"Well, we can't start without him!" Satori hummed. "Or we can just wait. You can sleep while waiting, I guess? Oh hey! You can sleep on my lap if you want."

Protag just shrugged and might as well take the offer. I mean, they have been having sleepovers at each others house since they were kids.

He followed Satori to a spot on the floor. His childhood best friend leaned against the wall, near the closet of the classroom, and patted his lap with a smile. Protag just slept on his lap. He was sleeping soundly. As he woke up, he literally woke up with saliva dripping from his mouth and his hair became a mess. Three of the guys were just aw-ing at him. Mikami was there as well. He was sitting on the closest chair to them with his chin propped on his palm. Yuri was on a seat closer to them than before, flustered by the scene and distracted from his book. And Naruki was snorting at the trail of saliva made, putting away a few things from the closet.

  
"Does he sleep like this a lot?" Mikami asked, not realizing Protag was awake.

Satori giggled. "Yeah. He used to snore, too."

Protag jolted up awake and made sign language, “How long was I asleep?” He started to wipe the saliva off his mouth. He surprised all four students in the room.

Satori said, "Hey! Good morning! I mean, afternoon! You've been asleep for about, uh, almost twenty minutes?"

"I only arrived three minutes ago," Mikami laughed.

"Yeah, and since you were asleep, well, you looked peaceful, Mikami decided to just call off the day."

"Yeah," Naruki huffed. "So it was useless of me to go here."

"But," Mikami said. "you got to read your manga, didn't you-"

"D-Don't say that!"

Protag sorta had gotten an idea. He had sort of gifts for everyone except for Yuri because he didn’t know what he liked. He brought out some manga that Naruki liked. He’ll return it because manga is expensive. For Satori, it was just food. Guy was a beast when it came to food. And apparently for Mikami it was a white ribbon. Might as well just give Yuri his pens.

Satori beamed brightly. He raised his hands in the air in sheer excitement before taking the food. "I'll share this with everyone!" He pranced around with his food.  
Protag smiled and rolled his eyes at his childhood best friend's antics. He looked at Naruki. The pink haired student was busy reading the manga he was given. He then looked at Mikami. The literature club leader was trying to put on the ribbon but was struggling a bit. Protag just decided to help Mikami place on the ribbon. He placed it around his neck and tied it. And then he patted his chest.

Mikami's eyes lit up. "Oh..." he said and smiled down at both the ribbon and Protag. "It's cute." He signed a 'thank you' as he said it.

“You’re welcome.” Protag smiled as well.

"You know," Mikami said. "this whole thing got me thinking. The drawings, the gifts, it's all for a good first impression, isn't it?"  
Protag shrugged, almost leaning his answer to a 'yes'.

"Ah, well, it's fine, actually. It seems to be making this club a bit more... livelier than usual."

“I don’t know, the friends that I usually have are girls. Maybe this might work with guys? I’m not sure.” He signed.

"You had Satori for sure." Mikami shrugged. They both looked at the said student who gave a bit of food to Naruki. "But, well, there's nothing wrong in trying to befriend people this way. For both guys and girls, gifts work. Trust me, it's already working on me." He laughed.

Protag just nodded. He felt a bit uneasy.

"Anyway, I need to use the bathroom. See you." Mikami waved and left the classroom.

Satori was busy handing out his food and eating it at the same time. Protag figured not to bother him and sleep on a desk. He made way to where he sat before, where he drew Yuri to pass the time. He closed up his bag. He realized he didn't check on Yuri with his gift, so he looked. The violet haired student had wide intriguing eyes set on a pen at his fingertips.

Protag decided to check up on Yuri. He tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

Yuri jumped with surprise. He looked at Protag then blushed. "A-Ah," he said. "Protag. You scared me a bit."

“Sorry.” He wrote down. “I’m sorry that I only gave you pens. I actually don’t know what you want.”

"Oh, no, it's fine. I appreciate it."

“You should tell me what you like.”

"Um, well," Yuri took a while to think. "I just like... someone's company. That's... That's weird to say, isn't it?"

Protag shook his head.

"Well... that's all I could think of. Sorry."

“That’s okay. How about the genres you like to read?”

"Genres? Um, I'm not really into... comedy? Or fiction?" Yuri sounded unsure. It then showed on his face.

“What are you into?”

"I... don't know with myself, actually. Maybe mysteries will do." He then mumbled, "Or romance… But horror works out best for me.”

The Protag awed.

"A-Anyway, that's all I could say," Yuri said, embarrassed. "But I'm fine with the pens alone."

“I really like your handwriting.”

"Thank you." Protag noticed he blushed again. He took note that Yuri was easily flustered and was meek, then he waved and left. He was about to head to his chair to rest again, when suddenly he noticed Naruki still reading, and there were two separate piles on either side with one less than the other.

Protag decided to bother him. He sat in front of him and waved his hand in front of him. Though Naruki didn't seem to notice. The pink haired student was still reading, quickly changing pages with eyes scanning the entire page. Protag raised a brow. The two piles on either side: the one on Protag's right had three while the other had the rest. He looked at the lesser pile; it had the volumes from 1 to 3.

Protag snapped his fingers to get his attention. That did the trick. Naruki blinked a few times as if he was in a daze, and he looked up. He saw Protag, and he raised a brow. "What?"

Protag smiled and wrote down. “Do you wanna tell me what you’re reading?”

"What? I'm reading what you gave me, dumbass." Naruki grumbled. "I'm already on the fourth volume."

“What do you think about it?”

"It's not that bad. I'm surprised there's no big boobs flashing in this." Naruki snorted. “And I thought you were the type of guys to peer into certain mangas to jerk off to.”

Protag blinked and just laughed. “I’ll go now.” He wrote down. “Have fun finishing the manga.”

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Naruki did read. "Oh, yeah, um, Protag? You can- you can borrow my manga... i-if you want. J-Just if you want! You probably don't have anything else to read..." He looked away with a pout and a blush. He buried his face in the manga he held. "It's in the closet, just near the door.”

Protag gasped and smiled as he looked inside the closet. Man, it was a lot. He walked inside. He saw a teapot, cleaning supplies, then even three long piles of manga. Protag traced his fingers across it. He pulled out the first manga. It was a bit worn out, and the art style was quite different than the standard. He gasped and awed. He had to decided to borrow this manga instead. He checked on his best friend for a change.

He closed the closet door. Naruki was still reading, so was Yuri but all the while twirling a pen in hand, Mikami had just returned with a juice box, and Satori was sitting on a chair quiet and staring into his empty bento. Protag just decided to hug his best friend from behind. Because why not?

Satori hummed in a question. He looked and saw it was Protag. He smiled, though he seemed demotivated. "Ah, it's just you," he said, giggling and patting Protag's arm.

“Are you okay? You were spacing out on that bento box.” He signed.

Satori nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay. I was probably just imagining how my bento was when it was full." He laughed.

“Are you still hungry?”

"Nah, I can just eat later. Are you hungry?"

Protag shook his head.

"You sure? I can buy you food later." Satori grinned.

Protag nodded. Satori then giggled. He took hold of Protag's cheeks and rubbed them. "Ah, I will buy you some ice cream!" Protag laughed and placed his hand over his.

"Ice cream, ice cream." Satori repeated, then he pinched Protag's cheeks, earning a squeak. The cheeks in between his fingers were starting to pain and turn red. Quickly, Protag patted his hands. Noticing, he quickly retracted his hands. “AH!” He stood with a knee resting on the chair, and he looked at Protag face to face with an apologetic and worried look. "Ahh! Your cheeks are red! I'm sorry!"

Protag rubbed his cheeks in pain.

“Do you need ice? We don't have ice." Satori started to panic. “Do we have ice?”

“I’m okay.” He signed.

"It's still red. Does it still hurt? It still hurts, doesn’t it?”

He nodded. Satori pouted. He looked around frantically, then an idea popped in his mind. "A-Ah! I know! I'll kiss your cheeks!"

Protag blinked thrice. Did he just hear that correctly? Then before he could sign something, Satori grabbed his shoulders and pulled him close, then two warm kisses were placed on either cheeks. Protag turned red and covered his face. Satori pulled away, still holding his shoulders. He was blushing as well, though he didn't bother. "D-Did that work?” he asked. “Does it still... hurt?"

Protag shook his head and removed his hands from his face. He even took a deep breath to calm himself. He could still feel his cheeks burning.

Satori said, "It doesn't hurt?"

Protag nodded. A giggle emitted from Satori's lips. "My kisses worked!"

"That's gay, Satori!" Naruki yelled from across the room, making Satori whine.

Protag had just decided to check on Mikami for a bit. He still looked red.

Mikami had finished his juice box. He crumpled the empty box with his hand as he checked the time on his watch. Protag waved his hand at him. That kiss made him exhausted. He was never ever kissed by a guy. Maybe, except by his dad. Mikami noticed. "Oh, hey! Did you catch a cold? Your face is red."

Protag shook his head and just smiled. Mikami always had a ton of girls around him. Maybe he made this club to get away from that.

Mikami laughed. "If you say so. You know, since we didn't do much today, I figured to give homework. Besides, it's your first—second time here at the literature club. Maybe a bit of sharing won't hurt."

“What homework?”

"Poetry, of course. We'll write a poem in any form, with any topic, and share it tomorrow. Is that alright with everyone?" Mikami shouted across the room. The rest agreed and didn't bother to complain. "Alright, there."

Shit. He didn’t know how to write poetry. Might as well give it a shot. And then the day ended again. He actually just crammed it in a night and dedicated a poem to Mikami. What would go wrong?

  
It was now Wednesday after class. It was off to the Literature Club once more, and it was time to share poems. Protag decided to give his poem to Mikami first. Mikami read it. He exchanged his own poem to Protag as he read. Protag would glance every now and then to see the other's reaction, and he could see a faint smile.

Shit, again. He had a crush on him. Oh boy.

His heart was beating fast. He decided to distract himself by reading Mikami's poem. It was about someone, or rather just anyone's inner feelings of everyday life. He couldn't understand it entirely, though he suddenly felt more nervous than he should.  
"Protag," Mikami called out with a smile. "I like it. Your poem's actually rather cute."

“This is the first time I’ve written a poem.” He signed.

"It is? Well, it's not bad!"

“Thank you.”

"Don't worry. Though, 'white ribbon'." Mikami winked. "What do you mean by that?"

Protag signed, “I gave you a white ribbon as...a sign of something.”

"So in your poem, the white ribbon meant something relating to me?"

He nodded.

"I wonder what..." Mikami gave a smug and suspicious look. Protag had to avert his eyes away as he felt his face heat. Protag snatched the paper from him and just smiled nervously. Mikami laughed at his actions. They then shared their poems with the other members of the club.

Protag showed his to Yuri. And Protag was overwhelmed with Yuri’s choice of words.

There were a few, or maybe even a lot, of words he did not understand. Yet whenever he would move on from the overwhelming sentence, he would move on to a more overwhelming sentence. Protag didn’t finish it when Yuri started to comment about his poem. Yuri looked...tensed.

"It's... alright," Yuri said. He handed Protag back his poem. "Your poem's fine. I feel like you should at least refrain from using repetition this much... and... some other things."

Protag gave him a thumbs up.

Yuri nodded. He didn't know what else to say. The atmosphere between them began to feel heavy and awkward, though luckily Naruki cleared his throat obnoxiously.  
They both looked at Naruki. "Are you done?" Naruki said. "Or are you still exchanging each other's embarrassing lengths?"  
Yuri glared at him. "As if we would..."

Protag gave his poem to him. Naruki glanced over the paper. Protag was somewhat nervous, knowing how harsh Naruki's words could be, then he was told, "You're one of those people who think poems need to be flowery and verbose, huh? Like Yuri over here? I prefer it straight to point so it saves from anyone trying to think deep shit."

Protag suddenly dragged Naruki to the closet so the pink haired student and violet haired student wouldn’t fight. Yeesh.

Naruki protested a bit. "Hey! What's the big deal? Going to tell a dirty secret or something?"

Protag shook his head.

"Then what?"

“You two looked like you were about to fight.” Protag wrote down and showed the note to him. Naruki read it. He huffed in annoyance and crossed his arms

"As usual. Yuri just gets on my nerves a lot. Like, he breathes, and I get annoyed."

“He’s not doing anything. Just calm down. Do you wanna hang out sometime?”

“Hangout?" Naruki snorted. "First you’re telling me to calm my tits and now asking out on a date. Now, it's either you're just trying to be friends with everyone or be lovers with everyone."

“Friends!”

Naruki gave off a fake and mocking laugh. "Yeah, yeah, especially with the three. It's hilarious to see that."

Protag playfully punched his arm.

Naruki laughed again, though this time, it sounded more genuine than the usual. "Totally not gay. As if this club isn't as gay as it already is, jeez."

“What?” he mouthed out.

"What, can't you tell? A club where it's only filled with guys writing lovey-dovey poetry. People find it gay."

Protag blinked thrice again. Oh boy.

Naruki puffed. "No one really bothers anyway. I mean, there's an occult club and no one finds it obscuring."

Protag’s eyes widened. Wow, he did not know that.

Naruki noticed. He shrugged with a smug look. "See? And no one even knows there's one."

Protag just sighed and just patted his back, he headed to Satori who looked a bit pale. He patted his shoulder, and he bent down to see eye to eye. Satori was staring blankly into space--this time with a pale and queasy face. Protag had decided to cupped his face and squish it. He was trying to get his attention.

"Huh?" Satori mumbled. He blinked a few times before snapping back to reality.

Protag kept squishing his cheeks.

Satori looked up at him. His hand unknowingly held his. "Protag? What?"

He removed his hands so he could sign, “What’s wrong?”

Satori shook his head. "Nothing," he replied. "I just feel sick."

“You should go home and rest.”

"No, i-it's fine. The day's almost ending anyway."

“Do you wanna go home together?”

"No, I'm okay." Satori gave a smile. It felt a bit off. "You probably have plans."

Protag just embraced him so tightly. He rested his cheek against the salmon pink hair. He felt his arms being held, and Satori leaning back to his warmth, then Mikami spoke up, "Hey, guys! We're done for the day. You may go home already, but try to write another poem to see each other's improvements, okay?"

Protag pulled away and asked again if he wanted to walk with him home. Satori shook his head and smiled. "I'm fine," he said, gathering his things. "Really, it's okay. Besides, you can just visit me anytime."

Protag sighed and just smiled. He headed home alone for the first time and he worked on his poem. Maybe he could dedicate a poem next to Naruki. He didn't know how much time had passed. He ended up filling his bed with erasures, next with crumbs of potato chips.

Then he was finally done. Thursday came. He went in the club room and he saw everyone except for Satori. It puzzled him. This morning, he didn't walk with Satori. He assumed Satori had walked ahead of him or had slept in. It made him worry a bit as well. Maybe Satori was sick after all...  
Mikami first greeted Protag. "Hey!" he said, waving. "Got your poem?"

Protag smiled and nodded.

“Great!" Mikami smiled. "Is Satori with you?"

He frowned and shook his head.

"No?" Mikami's smile dropped. "Oh, I assumed he was. I haven’t seen him the entire day"

He frowned even more. He was worried.

“Is he okay?” Mikami asked. “He was oddly quiet yesterday.”

Protag shook his head. “He was staring off somewhere.”

"Well, try asking him later how he is, okay? We have stuff to talk about after sharing."

He nodded. Mikami then smiled brightly. Somehow, it warmed Protag's heart just a bit, making him worry less. Then the two walked to the others.

Protag sighed and just looked down. Naruki greeted him. "Protag!" he huffed. He handed a plastic bag with carefully stacked manga. A victorious smirk fell upon his face. "I finished it! Ha-ha!"

He forced a smile unto his face. Man, he was feeling a bit sad that Satori wasn’t around. But club time officially started, and he gave the poem to Naruki first since he dedicated it to the pink haired student. He read Naruki's as well. Yuri and Mikami switched poems on the side. He read the poem. It was... odd. It was indeed straight to the point, and had an unusual topic of eagles flying and humans not doing the same. Unlike Yuri, there were no flowery words. Oh, how he repeatedly told himself not to think of anything at all mean. Naruki seemed to have blushed a bit. His eyes told that he had gotten the message of the poem. "A strawberry? J-Jeez, what's with you?"

Protag shrugged and just smiled. He wrote down, keep the poem.

Naruki harrumphed. He ran his mouth about how badly written the poem was, all the while folding the paper to stuff in his pocket.

Protag wanted to go home early to check on Satori. So he actually asked permission to go home early. Mikami nodded with sympathy in his eyes. "Okay. Oh! But before you go, may I have your phone number? It'll be so I can update you on what you missed."

"Or just have to make a late night booty call," Naruki snickered. Yuri glared at him and muttered something under his breath.

Protag smiled and just wrote down his number and gave it to Mikami before he left early.

He waved goodbye to the three, as only two did the same, and as he walked, his chest began to flood again with worry. Satori didn't tell him anything beforehand: about him not attending school or even him sick. Protag hummed. Maybe his phone died, he thought—he wished.

But Protag didn’t expect this to happen. He knocked on the door 3 times. Nothing, and then it was silent and dark as the door opened. As he opened the lights he gasped. His eyes widened with fright and despair. Satori was in the center of the room, inches off the ground, with a rope tied around the ceiling fan. Satori hung from it, but by his neck. He hanged there, pale, dull eyed, and swaying a bit.

And then he blacked out.

It was now Friday. Protag was still unwell, guilty, and as well empty during those days. He sat in the club room, quiet as Yuri read his book, as Naruki fiddled with things in the closet, and as Mikami arrived with two chocolate milk boxes from the vending machine. Mikami sat beside Protag who sat on the floor alone. He gave Protag a small smile before handing one chocolate milk box to him. "Here," he said. "I figured you needed one."

Then Protag suddenly embraced Mikami so tightly. He was sobbing. He needed comfort so much. He had just lost his best friend. He felt Mikami be taken aback for a second before the arm in between them moved to his back. The two chocolate milk boxes were placed on the ground beside Mikami's lap, and arms were wrapped around him. No word was said but sobs from Protag.

Protag was sobbing so loudly. It sounded painful to hear.


End file.
